When my husband and I decided that I wouldn't return to teaching after our second son was born, we thought the natural answer to our loss of income would be to grow my existing business, Southern Dumplings. As many of you know, growing a business requires further financial commitment. I felt a tremendous sense of guilt that I was using our savings to buy products and a fancy, new embroidery machine that was worth more than my car. I'm the queen of worrying. I have to have a plan that will succeed. I was really anxious about the financial predicament that I was placing upon my family. I knew in my heart that I had to let go and let God do His will, but that was so much easier to say than to do.
Because I spent so much of our savings, every penny I spent came with more guilt and more need to explain my purchase. Furthermore, I was watching our accounts like a hawk. As you can imagine, this was not a good place for our marriage. No one wants to be questioned for every purchase he makes. Sometimes you just need a bagel and a coffee without someone nagging you about it! As a side note, I must say my husband is a saint for being so positive, so uplifting, and so supportive during this time. He gently reminded me that we were going to be okay. We had two happy, healthy boys. We didn't need extra "stuff" to make us happy.
As I was internally struggling with this guilt and stress, I saw my friend Laura posting about Rodan and Fields. Out of curiosity, I Googled the company. My search left me more intrigued, so I messaged her on Facebook to find out more. I didn't jump right on board. I talked with my husband, my sister, my mom, and my mother-in-law. I prayed about it. I tried to talk myself out of it. I had no business being in "sales." I was a teacher. I would fall flat on my face. I would give those who wanted to see me fail in life a reason to talk. Beyond all of these nagging negative comments running through my mind, I kept hearing whispers urging me to take a leap of faith.
I sat at my computer Saturday, June 28th, 2014 while everyone was still sleeping, and I signed myself up to be a consultant. I did it. I was going to be successful at this no matter what it took. I committed and jumped in with both feet. I am so glad that I decided to stop doubting myself and go for it.
Beyond earning my own paycheck again, Rodan and Fields has become so much more to me. It's my chance to help others. One of the things I loved most about teaching was helping students and helping my peers. I didn't realize it, but as I became a stay-at-home mom, this part of me died a little. I lost my light; I didn't recognize who I was outside of a teacher. Through this business, I've found that light again. I've found my internal drive again. I've found myself again.
P.S. I can't tell you how good it felt to get this down "on paper."
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